Katy Mok – Certified Counselor and Mindfulness Trainer
In Hong Kong, reports of suicide incidents are gradually increasing. It is particularly heartbreaking to see teenagers choosing to end their lives due to feelings of despair. In this fast-changing world, many people face indescribable pain and loneliness. Understanding how to support those with suicidal tendencies can not only help them through difficult times but also inspire hope in their lives.
So, how can we support teenagers who may have suicidal tendencies? First, we need to pay attention to their signals.
How to Identify Someone with Suicidal Tendencies
People with suicidal tendencies often struggle with depression as well. These signals include feeling low, lacking energy, being easily moved to tears, and losing interest in things they once enjoyed. In addition, they may feel extremely low self-esteem and self-worth, believing they are useless and a burden to others. Some may even self-harm, such as cutting their wrists, to relieve inner pain.
The strongest suicidal signal is often a deep sense of hopelessness. If they have experienced events that cause their mood to plummet, such as a breakup, academic failures, intense family disputes, or bullying by peers, and their emotions remain low, we need to give them hope.
Deep Listening and Trust
Listening is key to providing support. When you notice a friend or family member is feeling down, consider proactively inviting them to talk about their feelings. For example, you could say, “I’ve noticed that you seem a bit unhappy lately. I’m here and willing to listen.” Such an opening not only expresses your concern but also makes the other person feel safe and more willing to share their inner struggles.
The focus should be on deep listening rather than providing solutions or drawing conclusions. Simply reflecting their feelings to express understanding is often sufficient. For example, you might say, “It sounds like you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately. I’m here to listen and support you.” Avoid belittling their feelings or offering simplistic solutions, as everyone’s pain is unique. Understanding and empathy are more important than suggestions.
Helping Them Build Self-Esteem
Imagine if a person believes they are useless; this can lead to low emotions and even the belief that the world could do without them. Therefore, it is crucial to build their self-esteem by appreciating their character strengths and encouraging them to complete tasks that provide a sense of accomplishment. You can express your trust in them and let them know that you believe in their abilities and strengths.
For example, when a friend feels anxious about being unemployed, you could invite them to grab coffee and say, “No matter what your situation is right now, I still believe in your abilities, and you can always talk to me.” This emotional communication can bring them comfort.
Helping Them Find Meaning in Life
In my clinical experience, I often encounter teenagers who believe that their studies and life have no meaning. They tend to spend a lot of time on social media, encountering similar negative messages, which leads them to feel hopeless and lose interest in everything. They may also feel alienated from others, trapped in their own thoughts of “life is meaningless.”
Helping them gain different and positive experiences can broaden their perspectives. For instance, some people change their emotions and regain hope through travel or spending enjoyable time with family and having deep conversations.
Positive Relationships as a Healing Remedy
In my clinical experience, many individuals with suicidal tendencies have a strong need for positive relationships, especially during times of bullying, criticism, or heartbreak. Therefore, maintaining an understanding relationship with them is very important. Even if the relationship is not close, ongoing concern should not be overlooked. Even just a text message saying, “How have you been? I’m here to support you!” can make them feel warm.
Guiding Them to Seek Professional Help
Teenagers may find it difficult to be honest with their parents, so they are often more willing to open up to counselors. Counselors can gain a deeper understanding of them, help build their self-esteem, manage emotions, and guide them to find solutions to current problems.
For example, when your friend confides that they feel hopeless, you could say, “I’ve heard about a mental health counseling service that might help you. I can accompany you anytime.” This not only provides practical help but also lets them know they are not alone. If they can establish a trusting relationship with a therapist, it can also help reduce suicidal impulses. In necessary cases, psychiatric medication is also a viable option.
Response Measures for Those with High Suicidal Tendencies
If they already have a concrete suicide plan and show signs of wanting to leave a will or not informing others of their plans, the situation becomes more dangerous. In this case, consider the following three options:
- 24-Hour Supervision: In addition to seeking professional help, family members should stay close to ensure their safety and remove any potential dangerous items from the home.
- Voluntary Hospitalization: If they are willing, hospitalization can ensure safety and provide professional help.
- Involuntary Hospitalization: If they are unwilling and at very high risk of suicide, involuntary hospitalization should be considered.
Of course, if you discover someone is in immediate danger of suicide, please seek professional help. This may mean calling a local crisis hotline or taking them to see a doctor. If your friend expresses suicidal thoughts, please contact local mental health professionals immediately and stay with them to ensure they are in a safe environment. Your actions may be a turning point in saving their life.
In this challenging era, ongoing support and understanding are invaluable. Let us work together to listen with heart, convey hope, and encourage those in need to seek professional support.
